But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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