forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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