she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In other news, I just burned my penis
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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