you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize