Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize