dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
