I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
her vagine was all disorganized.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
be right there i have to get my cape
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
