I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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