Kiss
Puke
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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