The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
