If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
