well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
