Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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