Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
