I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
