but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
