I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
