it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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