I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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