Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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