Ambien. No doubt about it.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
