Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
