Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
