That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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