So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
