I puked a lego.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
there was a trapeze. enough said
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
