Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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