Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize