Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
