If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
