butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
