so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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