Dual....:-)
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
