If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
