You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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