We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
