people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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