Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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