he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
