Your face is a jimmy john
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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