what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
