there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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