On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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