just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
