All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
how do flat chested girls get laid?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
