So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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