I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
