boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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