Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
high people should be assigned attendants
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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