Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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