reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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