so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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