He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
