So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
