before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
