she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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