So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
