You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
