The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
