My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
