Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
