I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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