Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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