that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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