i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So drunk its hurt
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
